Small Joke

A woman goes into a tattoo parlor and tells the tattoo artist that she wants a tattoo of firecrackers on her right thigh, right up just below her bikini line. She also wants him to put 'Happy Diwali' under the firecrackers.

So the guy does it and it comes out looking real good.

The woman then instructs him to put a tattoo of buckets of water with 'Happy Holi' up on her left thigh.

So the guy does it and it comes out looking good too.

As the woman is getting dressed to leave, the tattoo artist says, 'If you don't mind, could you tell me why you had me put such unusual tattoos on your thighs?'

She said, 'I'm sick and tired of my husband complaining all the time that there's nothing good to eat between Diwali and Holi.'

Collection of 5 Sweet SMS

1) Position of a husband is like split A.C..No matter how loud it is
outside, but inside the room it is designed to remain silent !........

 

 

 

2) At a party someone yelled: "All married guys, please HUG the person who
has made your life worth living."

 

The bartender almost got crushed..!!

 

 

 

3) Girl 2 Mom: Mom i hav strtd loving a boy!

 

Mom angry:Wat?? Hw old is he? Wt duz he do??

 

Girl:He is 3 months old. Hapily kicking in my stomach :-P

 

 

4) Kaun kaheta hai akele aaye they..
Akele jayenge..

 

Arrey, Bina do ke koi aa nahin sakta..

 

Aur, Bina chaar ke koi jaa nahin sakta...

 

 

5) Orange Ka Juice
Mera Yaar Kanjus

 

Aam Ka Achar
Uske Bahane Humesa Taiyar

 

Ganne Ka Ras
Na Kare Tu Sms

 

Bahane Hai Easy
Kehte Ho I'm Busy

HINDI JOKES FROM GANESH KUMBLE

TEACHER NE MONU SE KAHA-
"MONU, IS BAR TUMHE 80% ANK LANE HAI."

 

MONU BOLA- "SIR, IS BAAR MAI 80% NAHI 100%
ANK LAUNGA."

 

TEACHER BADA HAIRAN HUA- "TUM KYO
MAJAK KAR RAHE HO."

 

MONU NE KAHA- "PAHLE MAJAK SHURU
KISNE KIYA THA ?"

**********************************
TEACHER NE MONTU SE PUCHHA-
"MONTU TUM AAJ PHIR SCHOOL LATE AAYE HO.
KAB UTHTE HO?"

 

MONTU NE JAWAB DIYA- "JI, SONE KE BAAD."
SHERU UNCLE NE ARPITA SE KAHA -
"ARPITA AAJ TO CHAY PINE KA MAJA AA GAYA."

 

ARPITA NE KAHA- "UNCLE JI, AGAR BILLI NE
DUDH ME MUH NA MARA HOTA TO AUR BHI
MAJA AATA."

**********************************
EK VYAKTI NE EK BACHCHE SE PUCHHA-
"KYO MUNNE, TUMHARI MATAJI ITNI MASHAHUR
HEROIN HOKAR HER DIN APNE PATI SE LADTI
RAHTI HAI.

 

MAI TUMHARE PITAJI SE MILANA CHAHTA HU,
KYA NAAM HAI UNKA?"

 

BACHCHA BOLA- "MAI KYA JANU, ISI BAAT PAR
DONO JAGDATE RAHTE HAI."

**********************************
EK AADAMI HAKLA THA.
KISI NE USASE PUCHHA- "KYA AAP HAKLATE HAI?"

 

"JI NAHI, SIRF BOLTE WAQT."
HAKLE NE JAWAB DIYA.

**********************************
DOCTOR NE MARIJ SE PUCHHA-
"AAPKO KYA SHIKAYAT HAI?"

 

MARIJ NE BATAYA- "DOCTOR SAHAB,
MAI KHATA HU TO MUJE NIND AA JATI HAI."

 

DOCTOR NE SUJAV DIYA- "TO AAP AISA KIYA KIJIYE,
PAHLE SO LIYA KIJIYE AUR PHIR KHANA KHAYA KIJIYE."

**********************************
EK DOST DUSRE DOST SE APANI PATNI KI
DHOKHE BAJI KE BARE ME BATATE HUE BOLA-
"MAI KUCHH DINO KE LIYE BAHAR GAYA THA -
AUR JAB MAI GHAR AAYA TO MAINE APNI PATNI
KO APNE HI DOST KE SATH BADROOM ME DEKHA,

 

JABKI MAINE USE APNE LAUTNE KA SMS BHI BHEJA
THA, TUM HI BATAO, ISE KYA KAHENGE?"

 

DUSRA DOST BOLA- "YAHI KI SHAYAD USE
TUMHARA SMS NAHI MILA."

**********************************
EK BAHUT MOTE AADAMI KO SCOOTER
KI HALKI SI TAKKAR LAG GAI.

 

WAH SCOOTER CHALAK PAR BIGADKAR BOLA –
"KYO BE, THODA-SA BACHKAR NAHI CHAL SAKTA THA?"

 

"KYA KARU.... PETROL BAHUT MAHENGA HAI....
ITNA LAMBA CHAKKAR KAHA TAK KATATAA?"
SCOOTER CHALAK NE KAHA.

**********************************
PREMI NE PREMIKA SE VIVAH KI
ANUMATI MANGI.

 

PREMIKA NE PUCHHA- "OH, KYA TUMNE
YE SHABD PAHLE BHI KISI LADKI SE KAHE THE?"

 

PREMI BOLA- "TUMHARA MATALAB HAI KI
PAHLI BAAR HI SUNDAR DHANG SE KAH
SAKTA HU?"

**********************************
ADYAPAK NE KAHA-
"SURESH, SIDDH KARO KI VASTU
GARMI PAKAR FAILATI HAI?"

 

SURESH NE JAWAB DIYA-
"GARMIYO ME CHHUTTIYA FAILKAR DO
MAAS KI TATHA SARDIYO ME SIKUD KAR
SIRF DAS DIN KI RAH JATI HAI.

**********************************
BETE NE MAA SE PUCHHA-
"MUMMY, HAMARA BAHAR WALA
FULDHAN AGAR KOI TOD DE
TO TUM KYA KAROGI?"

 

MUMMY NE KAHA - "MAI US
HARAMJADE KI HADDIYA TOD DUNGI.

 

BETA BOLA - "TO TAIYAR HO JAO.
PAPA PHULDAAN TODKAR HI AA RAHE HAI."

**********************************
SUBHASH NE PUCHHA-
"TUM MERI BAAT SUNOGE?"

 

DINESH NE KAHA - "KYO NAHI,
BASART WAH LEN - DEN KI NA HO."

**********************************
TEACHER- "EK BACHCHA MEJ KE
UPAR BAITHA HAI AUR DO BACHCHE
MEJ KE NICHE.

 

BATAO KUL KITNE BACHCHE HAI?"
CHHATRA- "JI, 1 BATA 2"

**********************************
TEACHER- "YADI KISI KA JANM 1900
ME HUA HO TO USKI AAYU KYA HOGI?"

 

CHHATRA- "PAHLE YAH BATAIYE KI
WAH MARD HAI YA AURAT?"

**********************************
SHAHRUKH KHAN KA BAHUWACHAN KYA HAI?'

 

"ICICI BANK."

 

"KAISE?"

 

SHAHRUKH KAHTE HAI - "MAI HU NA."

 

ICICI BANK KAHTA HAI - "HAM HAI NA."

**********************************
PREMIKA- "PRIYE ! HUM DONO KI
JINDGI ME AAJ KA DIN SABSE JYADA
KHUSHI KA DIN HAI."

 

PREMI- "PAR HAMARI SHADI
TO KAL HO RAHI HAI."

 

PREMIKA- "ISILIYE TO KAH RAHI HU."

**********************************
MAKE-UP ME LIPI-PUTI MAHILA KO
DEKHKAR BHIKHARI NE KAHA-
MADAM, 4 DIN SE MAINE KUCH
NAHI KHAYA HAI."

 

MAHILA NE BADE GAUR SE
USE DEKHA AUR BOLI-
"GAJAB KI WILL POWER HAI TUMHARI.

 

MAI TO DIATING KE LIYE BHI
BHUKHI NAHI RAH PATI."

**********************************
CHAPRASI- "SAHAB, AAPKE JIGARI
DOST KA PHONE AAYA THA."

 

SAHAB- "TUMNE KAISE JANA KI
WAH MERA JIGARI DOST HI HAI?"

 

CHAPRASI- "SAHAB, USNE KAHA
THA KI JARA DEKHO TO OFFICE
ME WAH BEVKUPH AAYA HAI YAA NAHI?"

**********************************
TEACHER- SCHOOL KA HOMEWORK
JISNE NAHI KIYA HAI, WAH SAJA
PANE KE LIYE TAIYAR HO JAO."

 

EK CHHATRA- "SAR, KYA KISI KO AISE
KAAM KE LIYE SAJA DI JA SAKTI HAI,
JO USNE KIYA HI NAHI HO?"

Sweet 8 Jokes

1) Boss: Where were you born?
Sardar: India.
Boss: which part?
Sardar: What "which part"? Whole body was born in India.

 

2) Two sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1: What would you do if the bomb
explodes while fixing.
Sardar 2: Dont worry, I have one more.

 

3) Sardar: What is the name of your car?
Lady: I forgot the name, but is starts with "T".
Sardar: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol.

 

4) Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer. Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar: Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.

 

5) Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken.
Sardar: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.

 

6) At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!
Sardar: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?

 

7) Sardar: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Sardar: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says this is "All India Radio!"

 

8) Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Sardar: An old king's skeleton.
Tourist: Who's that smaller skeleton next to it?
Sardar: That was same king's skeleton when he was a child..

START OF LIFE

Enter Password F*****.
FR****
FRI***
FRIE**
FRIEN*
FRIEND

 

Code accepted::""--"":

 

Welcome". ." to "v" MY HEART !

 

....................................

 

 

Mandiro me Hath Jode jate hai,
Masjido me Hath Failaye jate hai.

 

Per sirf "DOSTI" hi ek aisa Rishta hai
Jisme Hath Milaye jate hai.............

 

....................................

 

 

Birth is "START OF LIFE",
Beauty is "ART OF LIFE",

 

Love is "PART OF LIFE",
Death is "LAST OF LIFE",

 

BUT, Friendship is the "HEART OF LIFE".

 

....................................

 

 

"FRIEND": who is

 

F: First for me.
R: Ready anytime for me.
I: Inspires me.
E: Enjoys life with mi.
N: Never forgets me.
D: Dear! Its YOU.

 

....................................